Phasing Out the Crazy

   Happy New Year! I am not a big one for New Year's resolutions, but I do believe in it being a good time to take stock and remind myself of what is working and what is not in my life and if I am truely living it the way that I want to live.   One thing that I have gotten myself sucked into during the past year is a bunch of craziness and drama.  I take responsibility for that, as I have not put my foot down or refused to get involved, but honestly, sometimes I just do not know how.  I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, I want to be supportive, or I just do not want to make waves.  I admit, I can be a bitch at times, but when confronted with a friend or family member's constant drama I just do not know what to do.  It is easy to tell someone else to just draw the line or refuse to engage, but it is much harder to actually do yourself.
   There is a person in my life who has a reoccurring issue with prescription drugs.  She is not a close friend or immediate family member, but being married to an extended family member means that I do see her fairly regularly.  When she is not too stoned to show-up at family functions, of course, though she does arrive slurring and babbling,when she does come.  It has gotten to where no one is ignoring it anymore, which took a ridiculously long time (years and years), but now that it is pretty much out in the open she has decided that I am the one that she wants to confide in.
  By confide, I mean calling/texting me multiple times a day but never being available when it I am able to talk.  Or trying to pull me aside at family get-togethers to talk. By talk, I mean make excuses and blame everyone but herself.  I honestly do not know how to handle it.  A few years ago I stepped in and insisted that she get help, and it backfired.  No one else said a word, and I ended-up being the bad guy.  That's ok, it's about trying to get her help, not about me, but I just do not want to do that again.
   I am just afraid to tell her that while she says that she is going to meetings, etc, she still needs to not make excuses and blame her doctors, her pain, etc, for her abuse of drugs.  I want to tell her that she needs to talk to a shrink, not her sister-in-law, that it is just too uncomfortable of a situation.  I feel badly for her because she seems to have no one. Her mother won't deal with it, her husband is at the end of his rope, and she seems to have driven all of her friends away. It is exhausting and draining.
   I know that this afternoon she will try to take me away from the get-together and cry about how no one is supporting her and how her doctors are to blame, etc, and I will be a deer in headlights.  I need to tell her that I called her yesterday exactly when she told me would be a good time, that she didn't answer or call me back, and that this is not an apropriate time to talk.  I need to tell her that I want to be supportive but I am not comfortable being her confidant because of our husbands being brothers. I need to tell her that I am proud of her for attending meetings and encourage her to see a therapist.  I know that she will get upset, and I just have a hard time with that. I don't want her to feel alone, but I cannot be the one responsible for her. I just can't do it.